For the most part they carried themselves with poise, a kind of dignity. now and then, however, there were times of panic, when they squealed or wanted to squeal but couldn't, when they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and said dear jesus and flopped around on the earth and fired their weapons blindly and cried and sobbed and begged for the noise to stop and went wild and made stupid promises to themselves and to god and to their mothers and fathers, hoping not to die. in different ways, it happened to all of them.