TO THE BROKEN You ever wake up in the morning and just think that what if you didnt wake up this morning? what if god decided the world was done with you? That scares me i like to feel needed in this messed up world all we do is crave love then why do we make excuses? Why do we try to find love in places that we know isnt even their. Like we genuinely feel safer in danger then in sheltered love? Like whats wrong with that? We would prefer to be in a broken toxic love then a love that makes us flourish that makes us feel actually loved… You ever wonder where the old you went to? If they will be back? You ever wonder how you got all these scars u seem to always wake up with and why does sleeping feel like your healing? Why do i feel safe to stand in the yard and watch the moon and the stars but during the day im scared the world will end before my eyes. A terrorized mind indeed and i dont know how to express this? How am i to be normal? Who i was? I know that im sad because She is gone i will never have her hug, hear her voice, everything of her is gone. Why am i expected to grow up? To not feel a thing because honestly i am torn more then ever. Why do i look in the mirror and just feel disgusted in myself? Why is it like that? I want the confidence to wear a bikini to smile to be normal but all i can do is sit here and be this new me this broken me. Why is it one day i cant eat i look in the mirror and i hate what i see? But then the next i eat everything just to feel something more then pain the pain in my ribs in my back and chest feel like daggers stabbing me over and over why cant i have a normal beautiful body? Why cant i be loved? No i have to be broken i have to not be normal and i have to be a freak. I have to be sad and i have to miss her. I know she is dead i know… but i dont feel as though its true. Maybe if i didnt see myself in the mirror i would love myself more. Why is it i miss her so much? Yea she was my gma she was my bestfriend but she wouldnt want this of me. Im not ugly im not horrid so why do i feel that way? Why is the world evil and why do we try so dayum hard to just make it when we should be working for our dreams working for that one person who will make us feel whole again because all we can do is feel so broken and alone until someone who isnt meant to be YOUR someone comes around we get attached and it wasnt suppose to be. Sorry if this is annoying you dont have to read but i express my self through words which i could write a million of them and it will never be enough. But for another broken girl who feels the same? It gets better love comes when its supposed to and it leaves exactly when it must. People die on you but it makes you stronger yea you may be broken like me but you will heal i promise. So to the broken girl who feels the same as me we will get through the broken hearts because one day we will be strong and amazing right now all we gotta do is hide our heart and make it through. Best of wishes to you.