Here's ur daily dose of dark humor I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
last one

What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children.