SONG In Australia we've got deadly animals a plenty,
We've got funnel web spiders who'll murder you and your family,
Under every second rock is a red back spider,
And they’ll kill ya just cause, I dunno, they're bored or whatever.

We got invisible brown snakes who'll bite you on the foot,
And you’ll be dead in seven minutes, just like that, kaput,
We've got the world's deadliest creatures all over the place,
We've got magpies who'll steal the eyeballs from your face.
We got Sea snakes, taipans, cassowaries, copperheads,

But at least we don't have AR-15's.

We've got great white sharks, who'll ascend from the deep,
And rip ya in half with their razor sharp teeth,
We've got salt water crocs who'll death-roll you to death,
and sea-snakes who'll gladly snatch your last breath.

We've got a blue ringed octopus no bigger than this,

that just sits around in rock pools, waiting to kill kids,
And even the platypus, a cute beaver-duck thing,
has got a spur on it’s ankle, that’ll kill ya in one sting.

But at least we don't have AR-15's.
And at least they can't end up in the hands of psychopathic teens.

We've got stonefish and stingrays and sea-urchins and s**t,
and hectic fu**en homicidal box jellyfish,
and these Jellyfish, they aren’t even sentient beings,
they don’t even really do stuff or know about things, they just,

float around on the whim of the currents,
being pointless non-cognitive murderous cu**s,
And if that weren't enough in terms of natural hazards,
here in Australia the sun causes cancer.

But at least we don't have AR-15's.
And at least they can't end up in the hands of suicidal teens,
and at least we don't have an NRA, who pay millions of dollars, every day, buying off politicians not to change old laws.

We got; bull sharks, cone shells, salt water crocodiles,
honey bees, european wasps, and blue ringed octopi's.
Death adders, blue bottles, red back spiders,
tiger sharks, tiger snakes, and lizards that'll bite ya.

We got Sea snakes, taipans, cassowaries, copperheads,

all the creatures of the land and sky and sea that want you dead.
Toadfish, stonefish, irukandgi jellyfish,
bull ants, centipedes, and ticks that cause paralysis.

Thank f* *k we don't have AR-15's.
And thank f* *k they can't end up in the hands psy ch opa th ic su ic id al teens.
And thank f* *k we don't have an NRA, who pay millions of dollars every day, buying off politicians not to change some law.

A law that was written 200 years ago.
in a time when it took three minutes to reload.
a single round of ammunition, and we knew nothing about depression,
and you couldn't fire 45 rounds in sixty seconds.

And there wasn't even such a thing as automatic weapons,
And there weren't 31 mass-shootings monthly…
but what would I know cause I'm from another country...