When the narrator bites back her tongue, what two forces are struggling? meimei vs. self lindo vs. meimei lindo vs. self lindo vs. lau po

When the narrator bites back her tongue, the two forces are struggling: "Meimei vs. self" The reason why the conflict is between the self because there's no other external force that caused her to bite her own tongue. She is the reason why she has conflict within, not only physical pain but also emotional pain.