"in "growing up asian in america", the authors feelings of being "less than" and "alien" are grounded in what?  

Hey there,

It's common to feel less than others when you come from a different place since you ultimately compare your life and self to each new face you meet. "Are they taller than me or am I shorter than them?", something as simple as height can make an outsider feel less. Traits such as weight, skin color, head shape, height, short legs, long arms, and so on makes one question how much is one liked in a group. "Would I be more popular if I had blonde hair?".

This brings me to feeling like an "alien". When you also question your personality and traditions. For example, "Is my humor bland or are they really funnier than me?", you wonder if your jokes don't work because of who you are. "Is my appearance really weird or do they stare at me because I am a novelty?", glares usually riddle the mind with thoughts like these.

It all comes down to experiencing certain glares and faces, so those feelings are grounded on experience. When you suddenly stand out from the crowd, and all eyes are on you, you become the alien.

Cheers

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