What does it mean when we lose are loved ones? what does it mean when u need to tell then that you love them? but u can’t

What dose it mean when we lose one of our loved ones ? well we are never promised life nor are we promised death normally when someone passes away it’s because of natural causes or other things but one thing i know for sure is it can make you stronger what dose it mean when u need to tell them that you love them but can’t ? that’s normally a part of grief which has five stages denial , anger,depression,bargaining, and acceptance which in this case it could be out of anger or denial when my mom passed away i waned to scream at the top of my lungs that i loved her but i could not not because i didn’t love her cause i did every much but because of anger and denial i blamed her for leaving me and many other things but it was not her fault it was just time for her life to be erased just like all of us will be erased one day but not always will we have the answers we are looking for but i hope this will someone out there who need this more than i do