HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY WRITING? She reread the messenges over and over; regretting every word she said. She knew her best friend was hurt, and she felt terrible. All her previous thoughts flooded back to her head; Death, Insanity, Idiotic, Dumb. That's where her thoughts go every time she gets angry and pushes people away. She said some words she didn't mean, but what depresses her is the ones she knew were true. Her boyfriend said once that she was more beautiful than a rose. Remembering this just adds to her negative thoughts, because, just like a rose has beauty, roses have thorns. The thorns cut, burn, and hurt everyone who tries to get near it-just like her. As she recalls everybody she has in hurt in her life, she begins to cry. Not physically for fear of others seeing and knowing, but emotionally, where nobody can see.
They haven't talked in weeks. Charlotte takes her best friends side isolating her further. The only person she wants to talk to can't be reached right now and she goes further into her depressive state of mind. Her conditions causing havock into her already toxic thoughts. She decides she has had enough so she tries to apologize. Being rejected by yet another she can't even stand to be awake. However, every time she closes her eyes every event replays in her mind. So instead she wonders how much pain she can feel if she's numb. Weed and alchohal has consumed her as she starts to forget everything.
This self-destructive behavior causes her boyfriend to leave- the only person she had left. Her father left when she was two and her family no longer loves her. So eventually she gives up. Stays in bed for weeks, then months. Until one idea sparked her interest.
Bleach. If she drank bleach it would be one of the worst ways to die. 15 minutes later it's no longer up for discution. The bleach starts in her stomach eating her organs and flesh. She starts to vomit. She screams out in pain. She's crying now while she remembers how this all started. Her own stupid, blind, and unforgiving actions. She screams at herself, cursing her parents for bringing her into this world. In an hour the bleach has consumed her just as the darkness did years ago. She's gone.