1 I ain't no valedictorian. I'll give you that. But I'm certainly not the loser my step-father Johnnie likes to think I am, either. Mr. oh-so-famous local Johnnie Pipehead of "Johnnie on the Spot Plumbing." (Real clever name, huh?) Just because he only took the requisite twelve years to make it through school and graduate from his alma mater, and I took slightly longer, that doesn't make me a loser. So what if I took "the road less traveled by" and added a one-year, scenic detour to my journey--thanks to Algebra, Physical Science, and well...Latin. Did I mention Chemistry? Let's just say I liked Latin but Latin didn't much care for me. Just because I took thirteen years in all to get out of Melancholy High with a diploma doesn't make me some loser. Being nothing at all, now THAT would make me a loser. 2 I am something. But what I am, and what I'll be, are two countries at war at present. Battles, I've had them. Many battles. Literal ones...figurative ones...too many. Figurative language...see there? At least I did learn a few somethings in Mr. J's English class.

3 I could've been the valedictorian. Of somewhere. Of some school that had a bunch of unmotivated kids like me. Then, maybe I would have gone to those Physical Science study halls. Maybe I would have actually done my homework in Mr. Pugnacious' class. Real name, Pugliese. Wrestling coach. Don't you just love that moniker? For a wrestling coach...Pugnacious. Funny stuff, huh? Made that up. It stuck. Guy's got a bulldog face but a little tail-wagging personality. Had everything but the panting. And the drool. Too much caffeine I suppose. Too happy. Loved his math, that Pugnacious.
The author creates a humorous tone through the use of

A) formal language.
B) informal language.
C) parallel structure.
D) chronological order.