EUGENE They're clean. I'm wearing a glove. (He throws the ball into his glove again... then he looks out front and addresses the audience) I hate my name! Eugene Morris Jerome... It is the second worst name ever given to a male child. The first worst is Haskell Fleischmann... How am I ever going to play for the Yankees with a name like Eugene Morris Jerome? You have to be a Joe... or a Tony... or Frankie... If only I was born Italian... All the best Yankees are Italian... My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup, what chance do I have? (He slams the ball into his glove again)

In this excerpt, Neil Simon helps the audience best understand Eugene’s

irritation he feels toward his mother for cooking spaghetti.
desire to be like his idols, the Yankees baseball players.
annoyance at being asked to clean his hands.
frustration he feels because his middle name is Morris.