HURRY PLEASE read an article from the onion and analyze it CHICAGO—As the city grappled with measures that would adequately address the infectious disease’s unchecked spread, rising coronavirus cases forced Chicago this week to set up temporary bars in hospitals. “With more Chicagoans testing positive and requiring medical care, we have no choice but to fight this thing by adding more bars and restaurants to the city’s medical facilities, including emergency tents for crowded eateries and transforming wards normally used for surgery patients into makeshift taverns,” said Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot, adding that if the number of hospital admissions continued to rise, the city would be forced to put nurses who had tested positive for coronavirus but were asymptomatic back to work taking drink orders. “Of course, we’ll encourage all of our in-hospital cafes, dive bars, and barbecue joints to comply with local mask orders, including having patrons wear your mask when your server is delivering appetizers to your bedside or on any trips to the bathroom that pass by the intensive-care unit. We will also close them at 11 p. m. every night to ensure we don’t spread coronavirus any more than we have to. During this troubling time, we’re doing everything we can, so we also ask everyone to remain calm. This is an emergency situation, and we may run out of critical supplies like tequila and limes.” Lightfoot added that if the coronavirus spread could not be contained, Chicago officials would be forced to turn some of the city’s parks and beaches into pop-up hospital bars.

(and yes this is a fake article)

Use at least two of the satirical rhetorical strategies in the essay.