OPINION ESSAY ABOUT SHARKS Can anyone please revise and proofread this opinion essay about great white sharks for my brother who is in the fifth grade?

His essay is great but try adding another paragraph. Essays are usually 4-5 paragraphs with 4-6 sentences in each paragraph. His hook/ introduction was amazing and made me want to keep reading but, in his thesis he put "i think the great white sharks blah blah blah" when he should have put another fact about the great white shark, like what they eat. He should also add a quote or two. By a quote I mean he has to put the name of the article he found the information in.

Hope this helped!!

Um Is it Okay If he uses this essay Below

Explanation:

The great white shark is found in all major oceans around the world and is also known as the great white or white death. The great white shark belongs to the species of shark and are widely distributed all over the globe. The taxonomic name for white shark is  Linnaeus. White sharks are famous for their massive size and voracious eating habits. A mature male white shark could grow up to 6.5m in length. Researches have published work stating that great white sharks grow up to 8m long I will post the other part in the comments

"the monkey's paw" is a rare story in that the theme is actually stated in the story. sgt. maj. morris tells the whites that the old fakir who put the spell on the paw said, "fate rules people's lives and those who interfere with fate do so to their sorrow." the message is a warning, but mr. white doesn't believe it. even though sgt. maj. morris makes it clear that he tried wishing with unfortunate results and he tries to throw the paw on the fire,   mr. white makes a wish for 200 pounds only to find that he receives the money when herbert dies in a factory accident. according to the fakir, then, because mr. white had wished for something he should not have had, his son lost his life.

the second wish that mrs. white encourages him to make is for herbert's return--one week after his death. when the strange knocking begins at the door during the windy night, mr. white panicks, believing that the previously dead but still mangled herbert could have walked home from the cemetary and is now at the door. because he fears what his wife will find if she opens the door, mr. white makes his third wish--for the noise to stop.

therefore, he uses his three wishes and to his sorrow, loses his son and disappoints his wife, who fervently believed that their son was at the door. she wanted him back, regardless of his condition.

explanation: