Once upon a time, there was a boy with his brother and his sister. They were preparing for the opening of the circus. Before the circus opening, they had a party with all their friends they played games, won prizes, and ate cake. The kids arrived at the circus to see how it looks. The performers asked the brothers and the sister if they wanted to help decorate the circus before opening. The party was the kids' cousin's birthday. The cousin wanted to come with them to the circus, but there was no more room in the car. On their way, they were talking about what they wanted for Christmas, the cousin wanted laser guns, and the sister wanted dolls. They were 30 minutes away from the circus until a police officer pulled them over because the cousin did not have a seat belt on. The police took them to the circus.

The circus was still not ready until the performers needed volunteers; the kids volunteered. They watched the show and had a great day at the circus. The End

Needs:
...the intro from lesson 3.

...a conflict

…needs two events of rising action (complications like the seat belt problem).

…there is no dialogue.

there is no climax.

...there is no descriptive language.

…many grammatical errors (phrasing is off).

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