Read the paragraph. [1] The 1992 Olympic Games took place in Barcelona, Spain. [2] This marked the first year that professional basketball players were permitted to represent their countries in the games. [3] Previously, only amateur players were allowed to participate such as college athletes. [4] The US squad was called “The Dream Team” because it consisted of some of the best players in the history of the game, including Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird.

Which sentence should be revised to improve this paragraph’s sentence fluency?

themselves

an intensive pronoun is a pronoun that ends in self or selves, such as himself, herself, themselves, yourself, ourselves. since band members is a third person plural, the correct intensive pronoun would be themselves. if the band was talked about as a collective noun, itself would be the appropriate intensive pronoun. intensive pronouns are used to add emphasis to the noun it's modifying which is why it directly follows it.

amazing

explanation:

i really like the quality of it and how it's been played keep it up

imparadis't in one anothers arms  

the happier eden, shall enjoy their fill  

of bliss on bliss, while i to hell am thrust,  

where neither joy nor love, but fierce desire,  

among our other torments not the least,  

still unfulfill'd with pain of longing pines;  

yet let me not forget what i have gain'd  

from their own mouths; all is not theirs it seems:  

one fatal tree there stands of knowledge call'd,  

forbidden them to taste: knowledge forbidd'n?  

suspicious, reasonless. why should their lord  

envie them that? can it be sin to know,

what: when quoting a source, use the author’s words verbatim, or word-for-word. this means you shouldn’t change any grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. put quotations around the words to tell your reader where the quote begins and where it ends.

you also need to acknowledge the author. for example, if using mla format for your research paper, you should have in-text citations with the author’s name and page number listed at the end of each quote.

when: use quotations to provide concrete examples to support your claims. using direct quotations is a great way to build your credibility on the subject. it’s also a good idea to quote your source when the author states things in a powerful way. if you think he or she said it best, then use the exact words to share the ideas.

example: in the short story “a jury of her peers”, mrs. hale compares mrs. wright to her caged bird, saying “she—come to think of it, she was kind of like a bird herself. real sweet and pretty, but kind of timid and—fluttery. how—she—did—change” (glaspell).

paraphrasing

what: paraphrasing differs from quoting because you restate the passage in your own words. since you don’t use the author’s words, you don’t need to use quotation marks. however, you still need to acknowledge the author for his or her ideas.

when paraphrasing a text, you should communicate the full meaning of the text; don’t change the meaning. it can be a condensed version of the text, or it could end up being longer than the source it’s paraphrasing.

when: you use paraphrasing when you take notes, or explain a chart or diagram to someone. paraphrasing highlight the important parts of a larger text. it also allows you to simplify the ideas for your readers.

example:

original: “it was no ordinary thing that called her away–it was probably further from ordinary than anything that had ever happened in dickson county. but what her eye took in was that her kitchen was in no shape for leaving: her bread all ready for mixing, half the flour sifted and half unsifted” (glaspell).

paraphrase: as mrs. hales walks around mrs. wright’s home, she notices that the kitchen is in disarray as if she was in the middle of baking bread (glaspell).