Can you guys suggest some tips to me improve this recount? sorry it's so long.
i strained my eyes to focus on the light. everything was blurry. in the distance i could hear people crying in pain, their families surrounding them with words of comfort. i tried to raise my head up but it felt as if it weighed a tonne. i was quaking, but at least i would be alright.
every flight i had been on before i was ten would put me in excruciating pain. i would end up drifting off to sleep with a tear stained face and ringing in my ears. each year it got worse. in 2012 it got so unbearable that i had to attend a doctors appointment with my parents to discuss options. i was nine years old and would be put on general anaesthesia. i was young at the time but i understood what was happening and i was terrified.
i packed a bag the night before. new pyjamas, my teddy bear lion, colouring pens, a magazine and a colouring book were all crammed into my mum's bag. she had kept asking me if there was anything she could with, if i had any questions or if i was anxious about what would happen. she was trying to avoid the fact that her daughter would be going to an operating theatre and there was nothing she could do about it.
twisted in blankets, i woke up at five in a sweat. mum was standing at the door. she urged me to eat breakfast but i stubbornly declined her offer. i got dressed without eating. the drive to the hospital was silent and tense. we were all thinking about the same thing: what if it goes wrong? when we got to the hospital i was weighed by a nurse and asked to put my pyjamas on. we were lead to a bed where i would wait until the doctors were ready. the time i spent calmly colouring in drawings my mum and dad spent perturbed over what could go wrong. the nurse and doctor eventually came to the side of my bed and started whispering to my parents. i listened to part of their conversation and was mortified by what i had heard: needle, cut and blood. my imagination went wild and soon i was as stressed as my mum.
after waiting for half an hour with a special cream and a strange looking tube taped to my hand a woman with a heart-shaped face came to take me to the anaesthetic room. i was only allowed one person to come with me so i had to kiss my precious dad goodbye. the nurse smiled at me and praised me for being a brave girl. i saw what she was talking about. the doctor spoke to me in a soothing voice and told me to relax, but all i could focus on was what was in his hand. he held up a needle that seemed to be the size of a ruler and asked me to count to ten. i closed my eyes and winced as the liquid bled through my skin. i slowly counted from one to seven and then my head hit the pillow. i was out like a light.
crying, screaming, lights, bright lights, people, too many people. where am i? why is everything so sombre? i took a deep breath in but it hurt. my whole body hurt even though i only had surgery on my ear. it all came flooding back; no breakfast, new pyjamas, tingling cream, seven seconds. a tear slid down my cheeks as i realised what had happened. i lifted my shaking arm up to wipe it away and felt someone besides me. i blinked. i could now see my family standing over me. i was so relieved that everything had gone to plan but for some reason, i couldn't stop crying. it was as if everything i would normally hear was being put through a speaker, that was only a side effect of the anaesthesia.
when i was fully awake and ready to go back home i everyone who had taken part in the process. if it wasn't for the myriad amount of people who had been there and supporting me in the hospital then i wouldn't be able to visit my family and i wouldn't find travelling enjoyable. don't take hospitals for granted because without them you wouldn't be alive.