Failure is inevitable. No one goes through the entirety of their lives without making mistakes, being imperfect, or experiencing growing pains.
However, how we respond to our failures can make all the difference when it comes to our long-term success and happiness.
There is a common saying in self improvement that, “There is no such thing as failure, just learning experiences.” This is a very healthy and constructive mindset to have, but sometimes we need to dig deeper into this idea rather than just re-iterating the same aphorism to ourselves.
To truly learn from our failures, we must take the time to step back and analyze them. And one of the best ways to do that is through the power of writing.
Writing has been scientifically shown to have many physical and mental health benefits, including reducing stress, improving learning and memory, and helping individuals overcome negative (and even traumatic) experiences.
One study published in Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience discovered that when individuals write about a past failure, it reduces their stress associated with the event and better equips them to handle new stressful events in the future. And another study published in Science found that writing about your stresses and anxieties can boost your performance onn a future task (such as taking an exam).
In general, writing helps us to organize our thoughts and think more clearly. When we reflect on a failure inside our heads, it may seem a bit blurry and chaotic. But by taking the time to write down our thoughts, we give our minds something more tangible and concrete to reflect on.
While it may be painful and uncomfortable to focus on your failures and write about them, it’s a process that can ultimately be very rewarding and productive.
Writing About Failures: A Simple Guideline
Writing about your failures is easy. You don’t need to turn it into a big project.
All you need is 10-15 minutes, something to write with, and the willingness to analyze your failures in an open, honest, and forgiving way.
Here are important questions to think about while writing about your failures:
What exactly did you fail at accomplishing?
When did it happen? What was the situation? Who were you with?
How did you feel before, during, and after the experience?
What aspects of the failure were outside your control?
What aspects of the failure were inside your control?
What could you have done differently to change the outcome?
How could you have prepared better before entering the situation?
What did you ultimately learn from the experience?
How can you take this new information and apply it in the future?
Make sure you end the writing process on a positive note. Focus on the main takeaway lessons from the experience. Be willing to forgive yourself for your mistakes and put your best foot forward in the future.
Once you’re done writing about your failure, consider saving it somewhere for future reference. Create a “Learning from Failures” folder on your computer and add new failure experiences to it over time.
Then you can go back and look at these failures years later and continue to use them as a resource to grow and improve yourself.
Another interesting idea is to add a doodle to go with your writing, so that you have a visual representation of the failure (make it humorous or exaggerated for bonus points). According to the drawing effect, doodling can be a great way to absorb information on a different level.
While it’s important not to dwell on our failures endlessly, taking the time to actively reflect on them is key to self improvement and self growth. Writing about your failures will not only help you learn more from them, but also help you “let go” of them quicker and move on.
How we respond to our failures can play a huge role in our lives. For some, failures can linger for days, months, and years, negatively influencing how we live our lives. Meanwhile, others can bounce back from failures quickly, learn from them, and quickly move on to the next chapter in their lives.
I recommend people try failing on purpose, just so they become more desensitized to failing and realize it doesn’t have that much power over them in the long-term. It’s just part of being human and learning.
How do you respond to your failures? What are you learning from them?
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