English, 17.09.2019 13:20 Destinywall
14 points, can you revise my paragraph using strong ideas, good vocabulary, varied sentence, transitional words, organization and the paragraph basics?
my most embarrassing moment was when i was in 7th grade and we had field day. so all the middle schoolers were outside 6th and 7th grade, so while we were outside i was playing tag with friends and the person who was it chased me and i hopped over a little circular fence but couldn't quite get away so then somebody came over to me not get caught and while they were distracting the person that was it i was starting to run but when i started to run i tripped over the little fence causing me to fall. while i was falling it felt like i was in slow motion, like i could see myself from first person literally turning around slowly in the air crashing down on my shoulder it was so slow. then after i got up feeling so hurt but i took it like a champ just walking it off then my principle came over and was walking it off with me and then she took me to the nurse there i had realized not only was my uniform shirt ripped but my uniform pants were too i never went home i stayed for the rest of the school day, i just got a alcohol pad and a bandage, ever since that day for the rest of the year my friends were calling me "i forgot to jump" what a school year.
Answers: 1
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14 points, can you revise my paragraph using strong ideas, good vocabulary, varied sentence, transit...
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