Can someone translate Act 2 scene 3 into modern English and include modern slang. I need modern, clever responses that stay true to Friar Laurence’s TONE and MEANING! Please someone actually answers this. The quote that needs to be translated is down below Holy Saint Francis, what a change is here!
Is Rosaline, that thou didst love so dear,
So soon forsaken? Young men's love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
Jesu Maria, what a deal of brine
Hath washed thy sallow cheeks for Rosaline!
How much salt water thrown away in waste
To season love that of it doth not taste.
...

The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears,
Thy old groans ring yet in my ancient ears —

Lo, here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit
Of an old tear that is not washed off yet.
If e'er thou wast thyself and these woes thine,
Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline.
And art thou changed? Pronounce this sentence then:
Women may fall when there's no strength in men.

Romeo
Thou chid'st me oft for loving Rosaline.

Friar Laurence
For doting, not for loving, pupil mine.

Romeo
And bad'st me bury love.

Friar Laurence
Not in a grave,
To lay one in, another out to have.

Romeo
I pray thee, chide me not. Her I love now