Thesis rewrite
i'm my brother out with his essay and i need a hand. his teacher said "you need to deliver a thesis, not a list of reasons." rewrite this so it meets what his teacher said.
the purpose this research essay is to show the huge effect media has on a person’s behaviors. one of the effects media has on ones’ behavior is just the large amount of time a person spends on media devices. another behavioral effect media has on people, is the power it has to influence what one uses money on. one more effect that media has on a person is the impact it has on personal relationships.

The purpose this research essay is to show the huge effect media has on a person’s behaviors. One of the effects media has on ones’ behavior is just the large amount of time a person spends on media devices. Another behavioral effect media has on people, is the power it has to influence what one uses money on. 

I hope helped ^-^

Hello there!

For the sake of your brother learning how to write a thesis, I will not rewrite the thesis for you as it will not help him.

Please get him to read this.

Firstly, reconsider what you are trying to prove in the essay.

- The cons of media?
- or any effects in general? 
- Good or bad?

{A thesis statement is a theory or opinion, not a fact.}

Here is the structure:

1. Use 1 or 2 sentences to catch the reader's attention. Maybe some statistics or quotes by a famous person relating to the thesis.

2. After the "hook sentences", write a strong sentence stating what you want to prove in the essay.
For your brother, just rewrite the first sentence you had but not using phrases such as "The purpose of this research essay is to..."

An example sentence could be: "Media has significantly impacted society in a negative way, especially the behavioural changes in an individual."

3. After this, write 3-5 supporting statements to strengthen your thesis. Use more examples and proofs here! 

4. End with a concluding sentence to lead into the rest of your essay strongly. In other words, just rewrite the thesis statement in a more emphasised way to give impact and "re-remind" the thesis to the reader.

Throughout the whole thesis, make sure to use examples, evidence, statistics and quotes to support your thesis.

Do not use phrases such as "I think" or "I feel" as they are weak, but use phrases such as "It is" to make your opinion sound as if it is a fact. 

Don't let the reader decide what they feel about the thesis statement. (This is a bit exaggerated! haha)
The thesis statement has to be so strong, that as the reader reads your thesis, they feel completely the same about it. 

Sorry for the long explanations but I hope this helped! :D