be the parent. try to set limits. it comes naturally to us to just want to give the child whatever they want, but, it would be good for them and for you as one of their role models to put your foot down and say enough when enough is enough. in a society where most people believe more=better, its hard for us to distinguish what the child really needs between what they want. sometimes we don't discipline our kids even when we should. limits are necessary.
set and communicate with the child clear, specific expectations. a lot of people have a picture in their mind of how they should behave, but never really make it clear to the child themselves, so its vital that we remember to communicate with them in a way that they can understand.
follow through with the discipline. often times, its really hard to be stern when it comes to kids, because you just wanna love them and give them whatever they want because they're precious, but, we need to remember that some restrictions are something a child needs. for example, if you dont want your kid watching a certain tv show, dont ask, "will you please turn that off?" instead, put your foot down and say, "turn that show off right now." enforcement and a stern tone with your kids really shows them that you're serious, so they'll listen easier.
and if the child has done something wrong, explain it to them. dont yell at them about it or make a big scene, because that wont teach them anything. calmly explain to them why what they did was wrong and how they can fix it. for example, if they've made a mess out of their room: there's dirty clothes on the floor, toys out of the containers, etc. just say, "your room is really messy, i'd like you to clean it up." and never be judgemental. thats the last thing you should do. we want our children walking away knowing they did something wrong, but that they are still loved by us.
have set consequences for inappropriate behavior. takeaways are the best and least harmful kind of discipline. takeaways are when you take away a certain favorite activity of theirs, like watching tv, playing video games, or going to their friend's house. for example, if they're pulling on their sister's hair, you can say, "if you continue, you're not going to go to your friend's birthday party."
and most of all, assure your child that you're always going to be there for them. we can't give our kids everything they want or take away every worry of theirs, but we can show them that we are available for them whenever they need us. we can listen, note their concerns, and value their thoughts. that's very important as well.
