What former president said to j. q. adams upon his winning the "no
man who has ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend upon
obtaining it."

John Adams

Explanation:

John Adams was the father of John Quincy Adams who was the  sixth president of the United States.

John Adams said to John Quincy Adams,  “No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it.

During the election of John Adams's son to the Presidency, John Adam used the statement, "No man who ever held the office of President would congratulate a friend upon obtaining it."