Spartan children were taught stories of courage and fortitude. One favorite story was about a boy who followed the Spartan code. He captured a live fox and intended to eat it. Although boys were encouraged to scrounge for food, they were punished if caught. The boy noticed some Spartan soldiers coming, and hid the fox beneath his shirt. When the soldiers confronted him, he allowed the fox to chew into his stomach rather than confess, and showed no sign of pain in his body or face. This was the Spartan way.
At the age of 20 or so, they had to pass a rigorous test to graduate and become full citizens. Only the soldiers were received the aristocratic citizenship. If they failed their tests they never became citizens, but became perioeci, the middle class. So to some extent class was based on merit rather than birth.
If the young men passed, they continued to live in the barracks and train as soldiers but were required to marry to produce new young Spartans. The state gave them a piece of land which was farmed by slaves and which they did nothing to tend. The income provided for their support so they could remain full-time soldiers. At the age of 30 they were allowed to live with their families, but continued to train until the age of 60 when they retired from military service.
Women enjoyed much greater freedom and independence in sparta than in other Greek city-states. Because mothers had little responsibility for the care of their children, they were not as tied to the home as most Greek women were. They were allowed to walk abroad in the city and transact their own affairs. They owned their own property, as much as a third of the property in Sparta. Their husbands were only a minor part of their lives, and except in matters relating to the military were generally their own masters.
They were not as close to their children as other Greek women in some ways, but a mother had pride in her son's stature as a courageous and strong soldier. “Come home with your shield or upon it” was said to be the advice one woman gave her son as he went off to war. They shared the culture's shame of weakness.
Although the Spartans did not have a family life as we think of it, there is evidence that in some cases at least Spartan men and women had close ties to their children and with each other. Their system certainly was well-ordered and avoided the "moral degeneration" they despised in the Athenians who they saw as wallowing in luxuries. And their is no doubt that the system produced strong soldiers. The Spartan army was legendary in ancient Greece, and the legend continues to this day.
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